Wednesday, August 13, 2008

The evils of the second hand hamster market

For example, let's say that I want to make a post about how much I dislike dealing with used hamster salesmen (UHS), and the topic was on my mind because I was in the market for a used hamster. What if the only person with a used hamster to sell happened to check my blog and then decide not to deal with me? Ah, the perils of the Internet. Maybe someday I will have to make a blog only viewable to registered and approved users. Then I could post about used hamster salesmen to my hearts content.

As it is, I may have to content myself with venting only in euphemisms. I really dislike the monopoly of UHS personnel on controlling who can and cannot buy a used hamster. Especially when only one particular used hamster will do, and the vagaries of the market demand that you deal with a specific salesman, but he's having a bad day and doesn't want to sell to you. Also, just by chance, you may have to fill out a form Q-48, "Application for Used Hamster Ownership", at the cost of much time and effort by an expensive hamster lawyer, and it might not even end up doing you any good because the only category of hamster owner acceptable to the Second Hand Hamster Legislation Board is "people who were born in mid-air on transatlantic flights to parents who both were transporting hamsters at the time", and the closest you can come is "Well, my parents knew hamsters existed, but I was born on a train".

OK, my euphemisms have derailed to the point of fruitlessness now. I just dislike paperwork, mostly. :/ And I needed to vent.

Stupid hamsters.

2 comments:

Scrapnqueen said...

Hee. You've got me guessing, but I won't type out my stabs in the dark, to protect your euphemistic privacy.

I'm guessing it's NOT the University Health System, though.

Logan said...

Heck, the reality behind the euphemism doesn't even contain the acronym UHS. I am a bit more clever than *that*...