Monday, January 25, 2010

How to Make Stuff

  1. Gather stuff
  2. Combine stuff
  3. Heat stuff
  4. (optional, but recommended) Cool stuff
  5. Eat stuff
It all sounds so simple in theory.

In practice, it apparently goes more like this:

  1. Gather way too much stuff, because nobody sells just enough pineapple to make enough stuff for one person at one meal. No, you have to buy enough pineapple to eat pineapple every meal for 2 weeks. Same goes for tomato sauce (3 weeks), ham (4.5 weeks), flour (3 months), and cornmeal (8 years). At least the baking soda, while still having the quantity to do this every day for the rest of my natural life, says you should throw it out and get a new one every 30 days lest it absorb too many foul odours and make your stuff taste bad.
  2. There appears to be a very good reason that chefs who regularly combine stuff including flour do not ply their trade wearing black clothing. 'Nuff said.
  3. Fire good. Magic bad.
  4. ... but I'm hungry NOW!
  5. See step 4.


Scrapnqueen said...

Keep your baking soda in a sealed container, such as glass jar, and then you can keep that for the rest of your natural life, too. (You are allowed to transfer it out of its original packaging. Its okay.)

Looks like a great beginning! (Where, oh where, didst thou get the recipe from, I wonderest? *blink, blink*)

P.S. Your idea for pre-making and freezing in batches would allow that ham to actually be edible 4.5 weeks from now, too!

Laurel said...

Yummmm......can I come to your house for supper?? I'll even wash your (not so) black chef's outfit to pay for my'd probably appreciate that more than if I sang for my supper....since my voice is pretty rough at the moment!!
PS. Does a posted photo mean that you've acquired a good camera??